Deliberation
Only that day dawns to which we are awake. There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.
~ Henry David Thoreau
Going into this New Year, I didn’t have much time to reflect. Usually, I like to spend a few days thinking. Looking backward and forward. Writing things down—a plan, a list, the Hamlet T-square of things to be or not to be. But this time, there simply was no time. Too much work, then too many parties, an abundance of family, and before I knew it, it was New Year’s Eve.
The whole time I wasn’t preparing, I recognized it, and it bothered me. I wanted to look, wanted to reflect. The past year stood before me like a full length mirror, but each time I tried to gaze into it, I was distracted by what was in front of me and couldn’t see in.
On December 30, I stopped worrying. I was talking with a friend about relationships, including our relationship with our self. We both agreed that many people can hardly see themselves as they truly are, may never see themselves as others’ do. My friend meant literally. I meant in every other way.
If we look into a mirror and cannot accurately see our own reflection, then how can we expect to look backward at a year and accurately reflect on ourselves? Our sight is often distorted. We see what we want to see, what we are able to see, what we are prepared to see.
I am thus going into the new year looking forward rather than back, even if 2013 was a good year. More important, I am focusing on—with appreciation, gratitude, joy—where I am today, since today is what I have. And the day has only begun.
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